If You’d Asked Me. . . *FREE READ*

This book is a work in progress. A new chapter appears at our “News & Chat” blog each week, usually on Wednesdays. Each chapter is a *FREE READ* — and so are the collected chapters here published here. Because of the space limits of a Web page, the chapters that have already been published at News and Chat will be collected here, in PDF format. Click on the link below to download a PDF of Section I: God Is Great, Beer is Good, and People Are Crazy.

Section I: God is Great, Beer is Good, and People Are Crazy

What’s In It?

1.Socially Crazy

  • What’s the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house?
  • How can I seem less arrogant to people who are less intelligent?
  • What is the most badass comeback you’ve ever heard?
  • Who personally loses when you rob a bank?
  • Why are people so rude to cigarette smokers?

2. Pet Crazy

  • If a stranger insists on following and touching your dog even though you clearly say “No” and try to leave, . . .
  • In California, what is my legal exposure (and methods for mitigating it) if a dog that my wife obtained (despite my disagreement) attacks someone unprovoked and causes injury or property damage?
  • What should I do if someone follows me home while I’m walking my dog? I believe they were trying to steal my dog

3. Kid Crazy

  •  My 11-year-old daughter is getting stares when we go out in public. What should I do?
  • My son is a four-year-old leftie. My parents so much want him to use his right hand that they are resorting to threats. What do you think?
  • If you had a 16-year-old daughter and accidentally knocked over her pocketbook one evening while she was asleep, how upset on a scale of 1 to 10 (increasing) would you be to find each of the seven worrisome items in the detail below?
  • Was I wrong to not give a five-year-old guest child the food that she wanted?
  • My fiancée says it’s not cruel to kick one’s child out of the house on their eighteenth birthday for no other reason than “they are now an adult, and they have to be reliant on themselves.”

4. Domestic Crazy

  • Can my wife legally keep my parents from visiting our home due to simply disliking them?
  • Should I report to the police that my boyfriend killed my dog?

5. Medical Crazy

  • I volunteer at a hospital, but none of the doctors have any high-end cars. Why?
  • My uncle has severe chronic vertigo, and the doctors don’t know what’s causing it. Have any ideas?
  • My coworker administers his insulin injections at his desk or at the lunch table in front of everyone. Is it appropriate?
  • What is the treatment for when you have a swollen lip?
  • Why doesn’t anybody coming to the “emergency room” seem to understand that an emergency means urgent?
  • How did babies survive when there were no vaccines a long time ago

6. Political Crazy

  • If you could say one sentence to President Trump, what would you say?
  • If you could limit President Trump to four words tomorrow, what four words would you have him say?
  • Is life in Mexico Bad enough to justify immigrating to the US illegally?
  • Why are you a feminist? Which aspects of the feminist doctrine do you consider most important? How would you define your own feminism? How would you define your own feminism?

7. Generally Crazy

  • Why do people back up into parking spaces?
  • Why are people so rude to cigarette smokers?
  • I was accused of plagiarism for an original work I wrote. I feel honored that someone thought my writing was that good. What do you think?
  • Why is it illegal to not wear your seatbelt? The only person it could endanger is yourself.

And More to Come!

Section II: Going to the Dogs (or Cats): Answers to 40 of life’s most pressing questions about dogs, cats, and humans!