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SECTION 1, Continued:

God Is Great, Beer Is Good, and People Are Crazy

11. In California, what is my legal exposure (and methods for mitigating it) if a dog that my wife obtained (despite my disagreement) attacks someone unprovoked and causes injury or property damage?*

So, this hound hasn’t done any harm yet, but you suspect it will? And she got the dog over your objections? AND you live in California?

Divorce her. This will require you to split all community property — remember, community property includes community liability. However, a divorce might be cheaper than what a serious biting incident will cost you.

Kidding aside: if you’re concerned about a potential liability brought on by her unwise behavior, why not get unhitched but continue to live together? As long as you’re not legally married, most of your assets might be safe from a lawsuit, assuming you weren’t responsible for the animal’s behavior. Of course, the victim could claim you are . . . presumably anyone who lives in the house where such an animal is kept is responsible for the animal’s behavior.

No . . . on second thought, I’d say divorce her and move out. That’s about your safest bet.

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* Yes, friends, this post is /s. Absolutely positively /s. If a question like this arises in your real life, ask a lawyer! I am an English major; I am not a lawyer. Always seek professional legal advice for questions involving the risk of legal liability.

Isn’t it amazing how you have to tell people that? 😀