What If a Cat Were as Big as a Labrador?

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Section II: Going to the Dogs
(Or Cats)

27. If domestic home cats were as big as large dogs . . .would it be safe to keep them as a pet? Could it be dangerous?

This question brought to mind my mother’s demented Siamese cat. Said kitty did not like my boyfriend. It was back in the day when young men liked to wear a buzz haircut, so his hair was cut about a quarter-inch long all over his head, leaving his scalp . . . shall we say, vulnerable.

The cat was an animal that recognized vulnerability when she saw it.

The boyfriend liked to hang out in the kitchen when my mother was cooking, partly because he loved food and partly because my mother was friendly and a cheerful conversation partner.

The cat would quietly take up a position on the top of the refrigerator, where she would lurk in silence until the boyfriend, forgetting the danger that he was in, would stand near the fridge and, oblivious, would become engaged in chatting. When he was suitably distracted, the cat would lash out and SWAT him on the head, all five claws extended. He would yelp and leap for safety.

Just imagine what that critter could have done to him if she’d been the size of a German shepherd!

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