So I’m sitting here editing copy and decide to check one scribe’s pretty darned amazing piece of copy, just out of curiosity, to see whether a passage might be derivative. If it is, I don’t find a source. But I do find a perfectly dreadful account of a fictional rape, just effing gruesome, posted on one of those websites for amateur porn writers. Apparently Author thinks it’s sexy.

Idly, I google “awful writing.” A miracle happens: Google emanates a link to a Twitter site that’s worth your time: The Worst Muse. Line after line of 140-character mock(ing) advice to wannabe writers, laced with inspiration for fine new plots.

“Said” is so boring. You should bring back “ejaculated.”

In the future, the same names will be popular that are popular now, but they’ll all be spelled differently.

You never know what the latest trend will be, so make sure to include every single type of supernatural creature you have ever heard of.

Yes. “Fisting” is absolutely an appropriate word to describe *any* activity involving a fist.

What if the main character were — get this — A WRITER?

Remember: one culture per alien planet. More than that, and you’re just showing off.

Kill your darlings, then immediately bring them back as vampire sex ghosts.

Ha ha haaaa! I’m in love! She’s fiercer than Aunt Tillie and just as smart.